Wednesday, June 30, 2010
The world expo in Shanghai has sculptures and architecture in the world expo park itself that are beautiful and each country pavilion showing its own world flavour and beauty. The creativity on each country pavilion is marvelous and when you think you have seen the most creative and most beautiful you turn the corner and there is another even more impressive! The country buildings and the permanent expo buildings never cease to amaze! While we were destroyed walking and only saw about ¼ of the expo in about 10 hours inside the expo park, we thoroughly enjoyed the adventure of moving from country to country and seeing all they had to offer without even leaving the Shanghai behind! Please visit my profile on iloho.com and you will see also my perspective on Chinese life and the beauty of Shanghai, China!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
I love you but I love my addition more,
I love you but I poison your lungs when I smoke next to you,
I love you but I contributed to your asthma, ear infections, and almost killed you with your SIDS,
I love you but when you can’t breathe because of your asthma all I can do is smoke away from you,
I love you but when you get more colds than most, when your lung functions are lower, when you look at me with your feverish eyes, I just need to smoke more to calm my nerves as I worry about you—because I love,
I love you but not enough to care about your health,
I love you enough heroically die for you but not to stop killing myself and you with my smoking,
I love you but you cannot beg me enough to consider my health and save myself for you and save you from the pain I cause you,
I love you but each and every day, 3 times an hour I assault your body with something I know hurts you,
I love you enough but nothing can make me see that I hurt you every day, every waking hour we are together....and at night as you struggle to breathe I sleep calmly and wake first thinking of my nicotine fix even before I check on you I light up,
I am a good mom and I adore you but no matter how much conscious suffering I cause you; my selfish need is more powerful than my love for you!
When I wanted you I had to work extra hard to overcome the effects of the poison on my body because they tried to stop me from getting pregnant,
When I knew you started growing in me, I thought about it, but selfishly loved the poison too much to stop,
When I felt you kicking as my blood poisoned you, I ignored the signs that I was taking your oxygen away and replacing it with many poisons,
When you were borne underweight and needed to stay in the hospital, I left you alone many times an hour to let my sweet poison calmed my nerves as I worried for you,
I was “ a responsible mom” and fed my addition only when away from you, but because I had to leave you in your crib alone to feed my poison you almost died from SIDS many time, even more than the times I discovered you,
When the asthma left you breathless and your allergies kept you in bed, I held you and told you how much I loved you but was too selfish to quit for your love and your health,
When my doctor warned me I needed to quit to improve my health, I thought only of my fix and not of what I would do to you,
When the last site I saw was your crying eyes next to me as I left this world, I wanted to take it all back but I was leaving my five year old love because I did not love him enough to quit!
If you love your child quit smoking or using tobacco products before you harm them or leave them with the scar of losing a parent. If you do not quit for yourself quit for your child, they deserve their health and yours and they deserve growing to adulthood with their mom by their side!
I love you,
I love you more than life,
I would give my life for you my daughter.....
But I am too selfish to quit,
I know it hurts you physically and emotionally but I am too addicted to even consider quitting,
My daughter believe me I love you even when I smoke in the car next to you and later hand you your asthma puffer,
My daughter believe me that I love you even if my selfish addition causes me to leave your hospital bedside when you have a respiratory infection I contributed to...just to love my addiction more than you,
My daughter I love you but I cannot consider leaving my addiction even when you beg me to stop because it irritates your eyes and causes you ear infections...I can only think of me at those times,
My daughter I love you and I am so sorry I let you die alone calling for me, when I was adoring the poison that killed you, it was just 5 minutes away from you surely you understand; it called me more than your need for me, but I let you die alone after I took your life away with my poison, my poison let you die alone…and as I used it to calm my nerves as I watched you far from you through the open door of the mortuary because I need it more than I need to feel close to you before they buried you…
My husband I love you but I cannot put your wishes and needs before my addiction, I cannot listen when you beg me to stop for our daughter and for me and you,
My husband I love you and want to be there for you and our daughter but you know I need to smoke to keep my weight down-its a great excuse,
My husband I love you, but all of my friends smoke and I need to fit in, can’t you think of my needs for once when you ask me to quit after our daughters gets her bad asthmas attacks?
My husband I love you but you know I cannot stop because I need my addiction to make my life complete,
I know you love me but stop being selfish and think of me, I need to have a little pleasure in life, I don’t complain when you snore all night long, please do not give me guilt trips when you and our daughters get a cold more often than others,
My husband I would give my life for you so please do not tell me that my skin is aging fast, my voice is like that of an old lady, and my breathe smells like an ashtray, I love you but not even my love is stronger than my need for my fix.....
My daughter I love you and wanted you to live a long healthy life, but even when faced with your cancer, and knowing I contributed to it, I still leave your bedside to go to my addiction for comfort....
My husband, my sickly daughter, I love you both more than life itself, even when I literarily help take the life out of you and me!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
I really think they jumped the gun too soon on these two things. Wave more than Buzz since Buzz I suspect is easy to use if they ever build an App for Windows Mobile! I love the idea of both but Wave just falls short for me in many level as it is not dumb-proof enough for me since I do not know how to use it easy (though I have not put much effort into it) and I do not see much value at this time. I do not even remember how to get back into it now so I have not revisited it.
I look forward to its great and innovative potential as I hate Facebook and I think Google's Decentralized approach to social network is far superior. If they can get ther gears together, Facebook will shake!
You travelled far to come into my life,
I will travel far to enter yours,
Two visitors in a country that is not ours,
Crossing paths, finding happiness, fulfilling hearts…
A road very far travelled for two hearts to join as one,
A joining made more special by the distance and the travel…
As our hearts wait at the end of that long road to become one…
The moment they meet and touch for the very first time!
As I awake,
My dreamy state continues because I wake up thinking of you,
Seeing you in my mind with your kind and giving spirit,
Smiling at your sweet and loving disposition,
And looking forward to the day, now one day closer,
When I can touch, kiss, and hold the woman who keeps me in a dream state of happiness!
Life is sometimes a song that repeats over and over again with no meaning,
Life is sometimes a song so beautiful that never want it to stop repeating…
With you life is a beautiful song that brings joy to my life beyond that which words can express—
A song that I will never get tired of hearing, and never want it to stop repeating!
A minute with you will feel like a decade because of my feelings for you,
A few words of love from you will feel like a book,
I am in awe of how wonderful you are and that will make you…
Forever a lifetime of pleasure!
When I see another woman,
I think to myself, I am lucky to have this one,
Because her beautiful heart says how much she cares by feeling jealousy,
And through the jealousy she makes me feel loved,
And through her affectionate ways she makes me know loving care!
While Jealousy is not something good or something I want,
And while it is negative in many ways and should not exist,
Jealousy is a statement of Love, even if it is misguided…
I do not embrace it because it is bad, I recognize it as it speaks to me and I run to it to stump it out—
For in showing its ugly head it is also showing the beauty of Love behind it and I do want and cherish the Love and when it is stumped out only the beauty of true Love remains!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Author's Note: This is for my greatest supporter in my previous life, she used to call me Munequo!!!!
Empeso con un Rey
Que se iso un Principe,
Y termino un munequo.
Un muneco bello,
un munequo precioso,
un muneco querido,
un muneco inolvidable...
Siempre cada palabra haciendolo bello,
Cada cuidado aciendolo precisio,
Cada tierna mirada, pensamiento, y accion ensenando su querer,
Todo el tiempo, hasta esos en su ausencia, con sus pensamiento y palabras—volviendolo inolvidable...
Haciendo desde el primer segundo que lo conocio un Rey de un munequito;
Y haciendo un Rey tan inolvidable y bello como ese munequito querido de infancia que una nina siempre lleva en su corazon!
Gracias Alenjandrina por hacerme sentir tan especial y honorado desde el primer sugundo que me conociste como ese munequito inolvidable y ese Rey que solo soy en tu tratamiento!
Eres un alma bella que vuela lejos de mí,
Eres un alma única que no mira a la vida que dejo atrás,
Eres un alma sin límite que traerá paz y alegría a muchos más como las trajo a la mía,
Eres un alma libre que nunca trate de atrapar—
Porque esa liberta era parte de tu belleza y, ahora que no te veo, pero te conozco libre—
Es ahora, que te quiero más y más porque aprecio más mi amor por ti…
El amor que dejo irte para verte siempre libre!
I miss you like the cloud misses de rain,
I miss you like the darkness misses the light…
My Love you are indispensible and yet gone,
You give meaning to life and take it with you when you leave,
You make joy and leave only sorrow in you departure…
You are My Love, my joy, my meaning…
And I miss you ever so much!
Amor es querer dar y recibir a otro Corazón,
Amor es rebosar con alegría por tener a otro Corazón en la vida,
Amor es brotar con pasión por otro Corazón que nos calienta como el Sol,
Amor es ser tanto individual y libre como sentirse parte pura de otro Corazón,
Amor es ser Uno con otro Corazón mientras que caminan en par lado a lado,
Amor es quererte a ti y solamente a ti!
Deja de resistir,
Deja de caminar, ni para adelante ni para atrás, párate,
Deja de huir,
Deja de pensar para que puedas sentir,
Deja el miedo…
Deja que las dos palabras mas poderosas en la lengua castellana te liberen y te den felicidad—
Deja entrar al amor!
Deja que una mano te toque,
Deja que unos ojos te admiren,
Deja que unos labios te besen,
Deja que un corazón se te acerque…
Deja que un suspiro te tome tu corazón,
Deja que un abrazo te eleve tu alma,
Deja que otro corazón te de libertad:
Libertad de la soledad,
Libertad de sentimiento,
Libertad de aceptar alegría,
Libertad de amar y querer y disfrutar la vida como una mujer embriagada por el amor!
Google Case in Italy Has Serious Implications for the Web
Governments must stop treating us as if we were children and must also see the good that negative materials can do. For example that video once it was learned about probably generated alot of interest in auticism and I get that donations for autistic causes went up shortly after. In any case just as it is impossible for the library of congress to screen every document going into it and I bet a similar issue exists in Italy and EU, website owners and operators cannot screen everything. Besides I bet the server those things were in were not even in their country so they are doing a far fetch reach to start with.
With almost every large website embracing social network principles and having a lot of user generated content, even government sites themselves, there is no way to stop the movement and no way to keep check on it, so execs specially high ranking execs cannot be held responsible for it. I mean thereare many government sites with user generated content, can the government hold itself responsible if there is bad material there? If the servers are in th US and the company is large and does not have a branch in the EU or that country yet the users from that country still see it, are they going to try the execs in aucencia?
If they do this, they will have a hell of a time with anarchists doing things in secret. Also imagine if I wanted to hurt Google, all I needed to do is upload a video that migh pass mustard but have a hidden few frames that break the law and they put it up and its jail time for them, how can anyone be thorough enough with filters, even if it was possible? It would be great to have these laws because if you do not like someone get them to accept bad material and put them in jail!!!!!!!
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Saturday, February 20, 2010
I delete my profile photo and it keeps coming back. I try to upload a photo that is already on the system and it does not take it. At the same time after deleting the photo I could not delete the first time, it puts me with a ? image instead of the photo that is there to start with anyway. It is a mess. Also it seems someone hacked into my account again so i will need to take over it again.
It may be the darling of the world but it is certainly not my darling. I do love how I find out more things than normal about I care about but for me it is still a royal pain./
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Netflix.com's site knows how to present data and how to make the process of finding and getting movies easy. Kudos for its innovative use of new technologies and its ever increasing innovations. My only pet peeve: I want to know what movies I have already rented and when I find then I want to be told I already rented it and the date! Other than that I use this site as an example of the best of net!in reference to: Netflix: Watch Instantly (view on Google Sidewiki)
Sunday, February 7, 2010
A father brought his son to a huge monument. It was a huge red heart. It was so large that the head had to really arch up to see its end when standing right in front of it. At the base of the monument was a photo of two common looking people holding hands. Beneath them in a gorgeous black onyx wall was inscribed a beautiful story of love.
After the father read the story to his son he paused and asked him if he understood the meaning of this story. The son grimaced and told him it was just a love story and he was not interested in it. The wise father smiled and acknowledged that he may not be interested on it now, but that he wanted to share it with him now so that by the time that he needed to remember it, they would have had plenty of time to discuss it and remember its many lessons.
The father then continued to question his son on the meaning of the story and the miracle it represented. And the young son continued to not want to discuss this boring and somewhat embarrassing subject with him. The father persisted saying this was important and he started telling the meaning and behind the scene tale to the story he had read on the wall.
Once there were two lovers that like many lovers before them had a beautiful and heavenly love. Like all other couples in love, they thought their love was unique and special beyond belief. They thought they were the luckiest people in the world and they knew they had the best and strongest love in the world. There are many beautiful stories of love in the annals of mankind and they thought theirs belonged up there with the most beautiful stories of love.
One day the man began to think of how strong his love for her was and he began looking for way to demonstrate it. He thought and thought about it and decided to show his love to her by building a large heart in the middle of their ranch. The idea was to build a never ending heart and each day of their lives he would add another layer to it to show their love growing. Well many years came and went and the heart became truly humongous. It was so large that it took the entire family to add new layers everyday and finally when one of them died the heart was completed by the family as the man was too old to put the last layer on.
But the man’s love was not over and he loved her even when she was in heaven and he thought so more about how to tell her and the world of his love for her. One day he began to pray in front of his alter for her. Everyday three times a day he would pray for an hour. He would pray for God to grant him an easement in heaven so that his heart could project itself into heaven for her to see. This bulky material heart would beam its image as a search light beams itself into the heavens so that it would also reside in heaven for her to see everyday. He never quit and everyday of every year for the rest of his 10 remaining years he prayed with all of his heart. Not knowing whether God heard him or whether she could see the heart in heaven but seeing it in his heart as if she could. That was his gift to her and to the world for he thought that a love so strong should be given to the world. Before he died he donated the ranch to the government so it could be made into a park so that everyone could come celebrate his love for her and so that everyone would bring their love to this special alter of love that in his mind reached to heaven. He also wanted this special place to give love to those that had lost it and give hope to those that thought they may never have it again. This passion for his mate started as just his joy in celebration of their love but it ended being something much bigger since the alter itself became a symbol and a beacon for love on earth. Its great size told everyone who saw it that love does exist and how huge it can be, and even if they just had just a little piece of this love it would still be huge in their own hearts. Also it spoke of family love and the great inspiration love can create in a family as when they could no longer build the layer by themselves the family gave their love and time to help finish this great alter. It started for the love of a woman and a man and it ended representing the love of humanity and the love of heaven. With his faithful prayers he infused the heart with a great energy that all who wanted could feel, and just approaching the heart was enough to soften hard entrenched hearts and open closed hearts. The loyalty and devotion he and his lady showed while alive inspired generations to try harder when times were tough in a relationship specially to find a purpose and a meaning in another heart and not quit without a great deal of consideration; after all they were far from perfect but they had love that kept them together even after death.
Looking down at this man passing the story and hope of love to his son, the two lovers in heaven smiled and were pleased. He had been heard and everyday when she visited the entrance to heaven she would see the projection of the heart in heaven. It was larger and heavenly beautiful and it spoke to her with every word he uttered in his prayer—it spoke to her. He was not wrong that she could hear him, he knew it in his heart and when he arrive in heaven he saw it. But his great devotion to this most spiritual emotion also inspired heaven. While at first she was the only one that could see it; after a while with her religious visits to the same spot and her smiling face showing equanimity other angels and souls started gathering and she described what she saw and they also started seeing it and they also started visiting. Just before he came to heaven the heart became a permanent part of heaven much to the chagrin of St. Peter who hated the crowds just inside the Pearly Gates that gathered to feed off the heavenly love. The heart was as solid in heaven as the rest of heaven. It because a symbol of love on earth and on heaven as each new soul entering heaven would see it and be reminded of the Love that the House of the Lord represents. To the lovers it was much more however, for they could see what others could not, they could see their names scrolled across it—Nelly & Rey and they rejoiced in this special heavenly gift that privately celebrated that special love that started it all!
With devotion to love two lovers did what no others had done before. They inspired both earth and heaven with their love. By building a heart that represented their huge love they shared their love and made it a family affair. By leaving their love to all, they shared a tool everyone could use to bring love into their own hearts and for eons after they parted the earth, this symbol increased the love quotient of the earth!
Back on earth the child listened but did not really show interest. For many years the father would speak of the heart and they visited it twice more. The boy became a young man and romantic love opened up in his heart. At once his interest in the Heart Alter became more important but they had moved far away and he could not visit it. However, his father reminded him the heart was just a symbol and a tool. The energy of love existed inside him and love came down from heaven for those that desired it. Like the man praying everyday for his lover in heaven, Love existed in an intangible form and it touched everyone who wished to have it. Understanding, the young man stood and kissed his father gratefully on the forehead, hugged him warmly, and with joy and hope and love in his heart he parted from his father as he uttered, “I Love You”.
True love exists independent of all else,
True love is not dependent on someone loving you back,
True love is not dependent on receiving something from another,
True love is not dependent on what life brings…
True love exists and loves for its own sake…
Nothing explains it,
Nothing counts on it,
Nothing can buy it,
Nothing can make it happen, for it is natural and does not depend on anything except itself,
Nothing can shake it or turn it off—
True love is eternal even if space and time takes the edge off, true love never dies.
True love is pure,
True love gives without expecting;
It has no pride,
It is forgiving and understanding,
It is open and inviting,
It is without malice,
but does not expect anything; it does not need anything to sustain itself…
Yet when reciprocate it sustain a world of beauty for more than its own heart!
True love exists in defiance of logic and laws of physics and common sense,
Never stops wanting and needing and loving!
True love is wonderful,
Even if it is unrequited,
Even if it causes heartaches at some points,
Even if it loses everything it yearns for…
Its power is wonderful because the feeling and pleasure of loving cannot be matched!
I am happy I have felt true love,
I rejoice in my gift to love unconditionally,
I feel fortunate to have felt the joy, and as painful as it is, I am not sad to have received the pain of it as well,
Because in the end the pain may be terrible but the pleasure of feeling it is ecstasy!
I will always celebrate my Love,
I will always Love my Love,
I will always rejoice for the fortune of anyone I love, even if it hurts to not have them,
I will always smile warmly with everything thought and felt about them,
I will always feel warm inside with just a mere thought of them—
And because even in pain love heals and gives comfort, I will always give my best;
Even if I lose, even if I know pain is around the corner if I lose…
Because anything short of my best would not be True Love!
That in the infatuation phase and some say it is the best of love,
Some are even addicted to it and cannot hold long terms relationships,
But true love is tested on Thursday of that magical ½ week when the happy chemicals go away….
True love takes active and conscious effort to maintain,
True love does not take heroic or over the top effort but it does take daily effort,
While true love does not go away without effort, it does not offer its best rewards without it!
Part of the joy of love is the efforts needed to keep it fresh and alive,
The rewards are simple but powerful:
But not just any sigh, smile, hug, or kiss—loving ones!
The daily efforts in and of themselves are a source of pleasure if they are perceives in the right way and they do not have to be conscious either…
Much like birds fly together in playful flight or groom each other's feather…
Love can be a simple kiss in the morning and at night,
A simple hug in the morning or just a simple silence if that is what is needed until the person wakes up fully,
Love is a simple act of respect as in holding back foul words in an argument or even in daily life, for Love is not just about what you do but also about what you do not do;
Love is a simple phone call or text message saying you are on my mind even if those words are not spoken,
Love is a simple act such as showing up with flowers once in a blue moon or taking your pareja outside to watch the blue moon while you tell them how spectacular is the huge universe and the luck you had to have found her or him in its vastness,
Love is a simple chocolate kiss left for them in their lunch bag,
Love is a simple I Love You every once in a while or a simple loving term such as Amor, Love, Mi Vida...
Love is a simple look that takes the lookers breathe away at seeing the beauty of his Love and leaves that person with the absolute knowledge they are wanted and loved from a simple look,
Love is a simple stroke on the inside of the wrist that says "I want you" even with its gentlest touch that speaks volumes for the hot passion inside you…
Love does not take huge actions such as buying a car, taking an expensive vacations, or buying the largest diamond in the world…there is nothing wrong with these actions but they are a rare and while they are remembered more than the simple kiss in the morning, they do not stimulate the love on a daily basis…they are not needed just greatly appreciated!
The secret to a great adventure of love is to do your daily playful flight and daily grooming like love birds;
Add a good measure of kissing and hugging and the heart cannot help but feel the twangs of love!
Love is not enough to keep a pair together but daily love goes a long way to give them just one more reason to stay together…love does not conquer all but love does make all conquerable and absolutely make the world a more wonderful place!
Life gives us so much that often we can't believe it could be real,
Life gives us some grief but on balance life gives us happiness…
With its many wonderment life is as beautiful as you care to see it!
Life gives us choices and life guides us in ways we sometimes cannot see,
Life always takes us where we need to be:
Even if we do not know we are there,
Even if we do not feel we need it,
Even if we want something else,
Even if we resist seeing the reason it has guided us there,
Even if we refuse to go where it takes it, it takes us…
Life is wonderful if we accept it, even when it is difficult to understand its purpose.
Life brings us many gifts that we do not receive because we do not see them or value them,
Life gives us in abundance what we need even if often we do not accept them,
Life fills us with potential to love life if we care to see what it offers…
Life offers a myriad of choices and gifts and always it is what we make of it—
Life never leaves us empty of fortune but we often empty our lives of fortune;
Life always gives, it is up to us to take!
This day I was preparing a Linguini Alfredo and I was rolling the linguini carefully around a fork to make two bird nest shape rolls. When put together at an angle they make the shape of the heart. Then I took a little pimento sauce and drew the outline of the heart in bright red. I continue preparing the meal with many other little details.
While preparing it I was very engrossed in the task and did not notice that Paulita, her daughter, was observing me. She was happy to see me work so carefully for her mom but she asked me why I took such care with it since it was just going to be eaten. I responded that my details were the best spice of the meal because giving to the other is the spice of love. She commented that it was pretty but that it would not taste any better since her mom did not know and would not notice just how much effort went into it. I told her that the meal was for the Love of my Life but the spice of love was not just for her, it was for me as well. I showed her my love through an effort she may never notice but the love adds that special flavour that one cannot identify but which makes the meal extra special. But this spice tasted even better for me just from seeing the smile in her face and with each bite she took it flavoured my life with Love because even if she did not appreciate the effort, I knew I gave it!